Time to Zumba!

One of the things I'm trying to get into (which has been easy to get into because it's so fun) has been Zumba! 

About a month ago I went back to Kansas City where a lot of my family are and my cousin took me to this awesome Zumba class at the Sprint Center.  I had heard of Zumba, and I knew what it was about, which means I knew how hard it was supposed to be.  What I didn't know, was also how fun it is!

My cousins and I before Zumba!

I was a little nervous because I heard it burns a ton of calories, which means it's a lot of moving around, which means its hard.  But what I wasn't counting on was my super strong lungs to get my through.  See, I'm from Colorado, the 5280 state, which means that breathing anywhere other than Colorado is super easy.  In fact, I was able to do this Zumba all the way to the end without stopping once- did I mention that it was an hour and a half long class?  Yes, I was impressed with myself too.

So, now that I'm back home, I have been trying to do Zumba here on my own.  Sometimes my schedule makes it difficult, but my gym offers free Zumba classes, so when I'm available I definitely try to go!

Being back in Colorado makes it more difficult here, but this class is so much fun!  Anyone looking for a fun filled activity should definitely check this one out!


Did I mention it teaches you how to dance?

The Single Life

Now that I'm single, I'm learning how to do things on my own.  It's opened up a whole new world to me!  I met my ex-fiance when I was 18 years old, I started dating him when I was 19, and 6 years later, I'm on my own for the first time ever.  Although he hasn't officially moved out yet (very very soon though), we don't spend much time together (for obvious reasons).  For the first time ever I'm responsible for everything, my house in terms of cleaning and maintenance, the bills, my dogs and many other things.  Some of it, of course, have been scary and difficult, while some of it have been really fun and educational.
I now clean the whole house by myself, although I usually was the one to do it before.  The nice thing about that, is I like things cleaned my way.  I have become a neat freak and cutting corners just doesn't do it for me.  I also mow my own lawn now.  I hate mowing the front yard, because I have a ton of roots sticking out of the ground, but the backyard is nice and level making it easy.  Mowing the lawn is also a great way of racking up the activity points and since I have to mow once a week I'm guaranteed at least 2 activity points a week!
Something I'm enjoying is cooking for myself.  I no longer have to worry if he will like it anymore.  He made eating healthy difficult because the food I was making just wasn't Taco Bell.  Now, I'm buying bulk amounts of meat (beef and chicken) and freezing them in individual bags.  Since there is so much you can do with both of those meats I'm getting to try new things.
My favorite thing I did was last week when I went and played golf by myself.  I thought I would maybe get paired with some strangers (which would have been ok) but instead it was just me.  The first hole was a little awkward, but once I got past it, I found myself concentrating more and doing better!  I also was able to take in more of the scenery and the beauty around me. 

My beautiful view of the golf course

Now, here's whats scary for me.  I have 2 full sized dogs, who need lots of activity, all to myself.  Sometimes my job requires me to work up to 16 and even 20 hours in a day.  How am I going to do this?  The good news is my ex still wants to see the dogs, so hes already agreed to help on my busy days or weeks.  And if for some reason he is not available my dad lives about a mile away and he's happy to let them out.

I'm also scared for my slow season at work.  Not working as much means less money.  Now that I'm completely on my own with bills I'm a little worried.  The good news is I'll be able to save easier by focusing on my budgeting.  I'm really good at budgeting when I put my mind to it, so I'm trying not to worry too much.  I just really need to make saving for slow season a priority.

This should be an interesting new chapter in my life!  I'm very excited to see what the future holds!

Moving Out, Moving On

Accepting my new life has been a little difficult for me, and it's only going to get worse once John moves out.  About 2 weeks ago, he started packing.  It hit me so hard that I begged him to stay and try to work things out with me.  He accepted, but it was a halfhearted attempt on his part, which put us right back to him packing.
The plan is for him to be not living here by Wednesday.  He has a temporary place to go, and I'm being nice enough to let him move his stuff in the garage until he has a more permanent place to go.  This will be hard too, because it means eventually he will come back for his things, again bringing on a lot of emotions.  But I want to be nice and save him money on a storage unit so he can move on with his life.

I'm really terrified, not to be alone, because I already felt alone, but scared to do the adult activities on my own: paying bills, raising 2 dogs, mowing the lawn and other adult things that I must do.
Mostly, I'm scared that my dogs are going to experience more alone time while I'm working my busy days at work.

As my best friend said though, its time to put my big girl pants on and be an adult.

On the Horizon

Through my whole situation, I have been really trying to focus on doing nice things for myself.  I'm no longer a "we" or an "us," which gives me a nice little excuse to do this.  Plus, once again, all of my money belongs to only me once again which gives me some freedom.
One of the things I'm trying to do is plan more vacations.  It has been way to long and overdue.  The first trip I'm taking is to Kansas City.  Exciting right?  Just kidding, this one is purely for family purposes.  My grandpa is turning 90 so it gives me a good excuse.  Plus my favorite cousin is there and it's always so great to see him!
My next trip I'm planning is to Las Vegas with a couple girlfriends from work.  Were looking at some great deals!  The main hotel were looking at is Treasure Island.  We found a great deal for $218, this includes flight, hotel for 3 nights and a show.  How can you beat that deal?

My last trip is to San Francisco, and it's hands down the trip I look forward to the most.  My girlfriend Katie and I are both single gals now and have decided it would be really fun to take some trips together!  I'm most excited for San Francisco because I have never been, and because my mom has really built the place up for many years.  I have started to look into activities we can do while were there, and I'm really impressed with the selection.  Here are some of my choices:

Alcatraz:  I love history sights such as this, especially one that has so much disturbing history.  One of the things I would have loved to do is do the night tour (haunted feel), but after talking with a few people, they said you miss a lot during the night tour because you just can't see as much in the dark.

Fisherman's Wharf:  More than anything it looks like a historical sight, but from what I have been reading, it reminds me of Navy Pier in Chicago, which was my favorite thing there.

Aquarium of the Bay:  I have developed a fear of the ocean, somewhat of an irrational fear, but I'm also hugely interested in it.  I took an oceanography class in high school, which is where both my fascination and fear started.  So although I don't enjoy getting out into the ocean, I do love seeing whats inside.  That's one of the reasons I'm so excited to do this.  It gives me best of both worlds.  I'm safe yet fascinated!

Japanese Tea Garden:  This one is a little lower on my priority list, but still an interest.  The pictures that I have seen make this place look beautiful.  I have read really great reviews too.

There are more things in San Francisco, like the Golden Gate Bridge, and much more.  I'm really excited to see everything out there!

Set Me Free

Weep not for roads untraveled
weep not for paths left alone
cause beyond every bend
Is a long blinding end
Its the worst kind of pain I've known

Give up your heart left broken
and let that mistake pass on
cause the love that you lost
wasn't worth what it cost
and in time you'll be glad its gone

Weep not for roads untraveled
Weep not for sights unseen
may your love never end
and If you need a friend
there's a seat here along side me...

Moving Forward

I am officially not getting married anymore.  That makes me an ex-fiance.  I'm still not sure how this happened and part of it is definitely a blur, but I just have to trust that this is the right decision, that this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. 

Even the Sun Sets in Paradise

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone, baby it's all wrong
Where are the plans we made for two?

Yeah, I know it's hard to remember,
The people we used to be...
It's even harder to picture,
That you're not here next to me.

You say it's too late to make it,
But is it too late to try?
And in our time that you wasted
All of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my nights,
You turned out the lights
Now I'm paralyzed,
Still stuck in that time,
When we called it love,
But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone, baby it's all wrong
Where are the plans we made for two?

If "Happy Ever Afters" did exist,
I would still be holding you like this
All those fairy tales are full of shit
One more fucking love song, I'll be sick.

Oh, you turned your back on tomorrow
'Cause you forgot yesterday.
I gave you my love to borrow,
But you just gave it away.

You can't expect me to be fine,
I don't expect you to care
I know I've said it before,
But all of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my nights,
You turned out the lights
Now I'm paralyzed,
Still stuck in that time,
When we called it love,
But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone, baby it's all wrong
Where are the plans we made for two?


If "Happy Ever Afters" did exist,
I would still be holding you like this
All those fairy tales are full of shit
One more fucking love song, I'll be sick.

And a few simple words from my best friend made it all better:
"Life may not always go your way, every once in a while you might have a bad day, but I promise you now, you won't ever be lonely. For as long as I live, there will always be a place you belong here beside me - a shoulder you can cry on and a love you can rely on. ♥"